Happy New Year - 2010

Happy New Year! I just can't believe the first decade of 2000 came and went. I've thought a bit about all that has happened in my life in one decade and it's just mind boggling. I think I've broken the all time record for the greatest number of major life changes within a decade. With that being said, I'm sure my changes affected the lives those who have been close to me. Sometimes I think we forget the domino effect of change. However, the sun still sets and rises each day, we move on and new doors open. Sometimes really good ones without any expectation. Wow, I can't imagine another decade like that (I'd like to live a bit more of a boring life). It's also hard to imagine that the first ever triathlon Olympic Trials will be 10 years ago this June. My last race as a pro. Does not seem that long ago at all! Was a tough race for me and I'd rather forget it, however it was also an historical event so at the same time, I cherish it.

I'm not one to sit down and write out specific resolutions. My resolutions are life long and somewhere along the past few years, I started making some very conscious decisions about what was important to me. The old cliche that I often hear in passing conversation is true. "Life is short and seems to fly by at warp speed as we get older." Here are some of my life long resolutions:

1. I surround myself with positive energy as much as possible. When I do this, I'm a more positive person. I am extremely sensitive to negativity and don't have a great tolerance for it, probably to a fault. Energy is infectious. It's true; If you surround yourself with or live in negative energy or situations, you absorb it and it will bring you down. I believe this is just one of the reasons people get sick. Stepping away from a negative space can be scary for some people .... but can also be life changing. Even during hard times, we can still find a window of positive energy by getting out with a good friend, listening to music that makes us feel better, exercising if possible, cuddling with a pet or loved one, watching a good movie, playing an instrument, singing, dancing. Surround yourself with positive energy as much as possible and life feels a lot better. Same is true for those who are sick or struggling. They need to be surrounded with positive energy either as a way to thrive or as a way to let go. What kind of energy do you give off most often? How do you affect other people's energy? Think about it.

2. Play. I do this when I workout, however it's sometimes not that fun and I have those days when I say to myself; "just get it done and over with." I'm thinking I would like to be more playful in ways that, well .... may be a tad immature. I like being silly, which is probably why I like having two dogs in the house. They could care less if I dance around in my office with them (and I sometimes do to work off "desk sitting" energy). I love dancing and don't really do it much unless I'm at a someone's wedding. Since no one I know is getting married, I'd like to hit one of the major cities and go dancing. I'm not talking ballroom dancing, I'm talking loud, excitable music, work up a sweat kind of dancing! Unfortunately, that requires staying up late just to wait for the dancing to start and I'm usually in bed before places like that even open! Why can't dance clubs have peak hours from 5-9pm?

Definitely going sledding during the next snow storm.

Jumping in a cold lake after a long bike ride or run this summer .... naked. Yep, immature kind of stuff. Don't get me wrong here, I'm not perverted because I want to jump in a lake or the ocean naked. I just think there's such a great sense of freedom and joy that comes with being playful.

3. Love, deeply and completely

4. Never fear a challenge that is put in front of me. Look, all one can do is try 100%, and that's sometimes enough no matter the outcome. It is the process and what is learned from it that matters.

5. Take vacations (okay, haven't done this .... but it's going to happen). Snorkeling must be involved.

6. Inspire others

7. To feel and be moved emotionally (could be by watching a documentary, sappy movie, a play, listening to music or in conversation with someone). Technology has taken over and I worry people will shut down emotionally - stop feeling. To feel is to be alive.

8. Notice. This is why I love the poet Mary Oliver. Take long walks and soak in the sound and sights of nature.

9. Pamper myself. I do this on a regular basis with by taking a bath. Yep, it's a simple treat. Don't have to drive anywhere or spend a lot of money.

I'm sure I could think of more lifelong resolutions, but itching to take a bath and then a nice long walk. What a great way to start the first day of the new year!

Christmas Time

I experience all kinds of feelings during this holiday time of the year. On one hand, I'm disgusted with the correlation of Christmas and purchase of stuff. A few thoughtful gifts is one thing, but tons of crap is another. I don't mean to sound like Ebenezer Scrooge. It's just that I see so much junk in the stores and so many people running around like crazed animals hoarding all of this junk. People tend to be pushy and bitchy this time of year. What's up with that? I also tend to feel, like many individuals, a bit of sadness during this time of year. I feel sad for those individuals who experience what can be a huge financial burden . Parents who really can't afford much for their children for example. I know of a few people who lost loved ones during this time of year, which is supposed to be a time of joy. I too lost my mother at a young age a couple of months past Christmas.

Here's the flip side (I know, you were worried about me for a second there). There are a lot of things that I really love about this time of year, and what I think Christmas is really all about. I actually enjoy listening to Christmas music. Dare I say that I keep the Christmas radio station playing for the dogs when I leave the house? I also put Christmas tunes on in my car while driving to appointments or errands. This Sunday morning, I am listening to the Vienna Choir Boys. Christmas comes once a year, and so do the songs. I love Christmas lights. Lisa created an amazing display of lights in our yard as well as one tree that can be viewed from the street. I love pulling out the few Christmas decorations/ornaments and displaying them around the house. I often think about my mother and all the traditions she created around this time of year. These are great memories. TRADITIONS ..... so important and probably THE best thing about the holidays. I have fond memories of making Christmas sugar cookies around the kitchen table. We had all of the traditional old fashion cookie cutters, green, red, silver and multi colored sprinkles as well as cinnamon dots. My mother loved to sing. We'd often sing caroles by the piano. My sister used to play and the three of us would belt out a few songs. The whole family would go out and get a tree and spend hours decorating it .... unwrapping ornaments, each one having some sort of memory. I always hope to unwrap one of the "special" older ornaments which seemed like winning a prize or catching the gold ring on the carosel. All of these experiences before I turned 10. All wonderful and I feel lucky to have them. We don't usually remember the gifts we received, but the memories are unforgettable. Finally, I actually enjoy getting out in the hustle and bustle of Christmas time. The catch is that I can't go out there tired or hungry (hmmmm, sounds like some children I know who are dragged out with their parents).

This Christmas we will be traveling to spend 4 days with Lisa's parents. They've had a tough several years with health issues. Christmas will be quiet, however we look forward to making meals, helping around the house, providing company, conversation and bringing some joy to what has been a difficult time and situation. Isn't Christmas about that?

Merry Christmas. May you find the joy in singing, baking, decorating, comforting and loving.

Coaching the Coach

I've often wondered what has happened with all of the former pro women that I used to race against regularly. For a good 8 years of my life I saw these women once or twice a month on the circuit of pro racing. I know some of them have had children and focused on building a family, a few have gone into coaching, however I don't know what most of them are doing now. Several if not all of of us had some kind of professional or educational background. For instance, I recall backgrounds in law, engineering, landscape design, computer science and medical research. Most had practiced their profession but then put it aside to race full time. I don't think many of the female pros in my genre are racing anymore. Again, I know a few have gone into coaching but I'm not sure how many coach and also still race like me. There was a period of time after my last race as a pro (2000 Olympic Trials) that I thought I was done with racing. I stepped away from racing for a good four years, sold most of my equipment and really did not do much but run for fitness. I completely moved into a different life, away from racing and training. However, I realized that being an athlete is part of who I am and I missed me!

I still race because I love it and am still learning about myself as an athlete. I have no answer to the question of how much longer I'll have the desire to race, but I'm sure either my body or my spirit will tell me. Racing also helps me be a better coach. I stay connected personally with the highs and lows of training on physical, mental and emotional level. I'm also making note of changes on all of those levels as I move through decades/phases of my life. On the plus side, I've matured as a competitor. Nothing really freaks me out at the start or during a race. I'm excited, motivated and tuned into the moment. I was not always like that and for most of my 20's and early 30's, I raced with a lot of doubt and that kept me from really reaching my full potential. I focused on how much it was going to hurt before the gun went off. Now, I have tuned into a nice combination of fun, excitement and competitive edginess that fuels me to go for it. I have no fear of going hard. The downside is that my body is aging and certainly is expressing that in tweaks and misalignments over the past year and a half. All with minimal training - trust me, I don't enjoy training for long hours. Look, I'm actually still quite young at 43, but I do feel changes and notice recovery really is key.


Recently, an athlete that I work with e-mailed me and asked if he'd be seeing me at the local Hot Chocolate Run 5k event. Unfortunately, I would miss running in it for the 2nd year in a row. I told him I was getting old wouldn't be running because of a few tweaky injury issues. He immediately wrote back with the following response:

"Your comment about getting old cracks me up. Here is what I tell [my son-in-law] every time he uses that comment: “I am 54 years old, I have cancer, and 4 years ago I was told I probably would be dead in 5 years. I started this type of training 2 years ago at the age of 52, and with Martha’s help, never felt better.” He then went on to say to me;
"The only difference between you and me is you don’t have a “Martha!!” I am very luck that I do"!

Well, that put me in my place on so many levels and justifies my point in past blogs about embrasing each day. You can't always plan your course. He's also right about needing a Martha. OKAY, I'll admit it! I need me! Sometimes I'm not a very good coach to myself. What would I tell myself during this trying period of not being able to run? Seems I have had no problem guiding others when they are held back from a certain course of training.

So, here is my pep talk to myself; "Martha, let's take some time a focus on swimming and strength. Enjoy your walks with the dogs, try to get some sleep (which you don't do well) to help in your recovery and know that eventually this will all be a blip in the screen. Trust what your body is telling you. Oh, and go ahead and have that glass of wine tonight"!

My workouts now are for sanity and clarity. Most of you who read this and are active understand what I'm talking about. Today, I went in for my morning strength session (20 minutes) and then a short swim (1500y). I'm keeping things short this week. So, I did my 1st major swim assessment of my training for the 2010 season. 800y timed. Not sure what got into me and perhaps I miss counted but I went faster than I have in years (since the late 90's) . Drills, strength work and some short speed, that's what I've been doing for the past few months. Go figure. Maybe this forced swim focus period will turn out to be a blessing. Just wait until get squeeze myself into my new Xterra skin suit! I may get a bit impatient, but I do always try to look for the silver lining ... and there is always one even though it might take a while for that "Aha" moment.

Cake

I've been in a cake and pie phase for months now. I love having cake after dinner with a decaf coffee (as noted in a recent blog). Used to be that I would go for low fat ice cream, but lately it's cake. We don't keep cake in the house all the time, nor do I crave it every night. It's not like I can have cake on demand, nor would I want that because then cake night would not be special. Look, I don't have dessert every night. I'm a healthy eater, I make pretty good food choices and know when I can indulge and when not to. I don't obsess about food, but I REALLY enjoy it. Tonight however, I really wanted a piece of cake and a decaf. Is this a sign that I'm getting old? Anyway, we did not have cake in the house and there was no way that I was getting in my car and driving into town to buy some from the Big Y Bakery. Not in the mood for a cookie with milk or ice cream. So, I decided to scrounge up some ingredients and make a cake. Yes, Martha Stewart Grinnell is back! I am SOOOO NOT a baker, but I wanted cake and I was willing to go out on a limb and bake. So, I made one from scratch. We had flour, sugar, eggs and I found some Hersey's Chocolate Powder in the cabinet (didn't dare look at the expiration date) and off I went, making a Devil's Food Cake from a recipe that I found it the Better Homes Cookbook that I have had for years. Don't have the ingredients for any kind of icing, but I'm not a big fan of icing. Whipped cream from the can will have to do.

Cake just came out of the oven, decaf is brewing. I'll be back in a few to tell you about my dessert experience......

AWESOME!!!!!!!

Okay, this has nothing to do with my current cake obsession, I swear. I recently started reading a book that someone lent to me over the summer called "Eat Cake." It's a super light and fun read which is exactly what I have been in the mood for the past week or so. To be honest, my eyes are usually too tired to read and I often and easily become consumed in reading tri, running, cycling and health studies, articles, magazines etc. It's hard for me to "walk away from the area" of this subject because I do the bulk of my work at home. I receive TONS of information online and in the mail from ACSM, IDEA FITNESS and USAT. So, reading this book has been really fun and a way for me to feel like I am on a short little vacation each night.

The book is about a woman (Ruth) who's husband loses his job, their challenges of raising two teenagers as well as her elder parents who now live under the same roof. Her parents have been divorced for many years and only her mother had been living with them. However, her father who followed his passion of being a jazz/nightclub pianist, moves in because he broke both wrists and needed fulltime care. The story focuses around the family dysfunction and the dynamics of all of them trying to live under the same roof. The only thing that seems to bring a bit of calm to the chatter is when Ruth serves one of her homemade cakes. I'm halfway through the book, but it's quite predictable that Ruth will begin to turn into her passion of baking amazing cakes and perhaps be capable of supporting the family. I'm not sure of this, but it's going that way. Ruth's father keeps pushing her,and her husband, to focus on their passion.

Something to be said about following your passion. It can be a risky and scary move. I don't have any doubt in my mind that coaching is what I am supposed to be doing - I'm passionate about everything about it. No doubt. I'm happy when I'm coaching. I'm also happy when I'm moving, breathing hard, sweating, taking in the smells and sights when out for a run or bike. I have the most clarity after I workout which is why I get something in almost every day, first thing, even if it's a short bout. It's always clear to me when I meet someone who lives or nurtures his or her passion. I feel their passion in their body language, energy, facial expressions and tone.

I've been going through a bit of a tough time with my body in the past year. It's just not responding well to running or even cycling, and trust me, I'm not even doing that much. I'd really like to be able to focus on my training plan, but it's just not in the picture right now. A sign for me to once again, step back and ask my body what it needs. It's telling me it needs time, it's been out of whack and it's not going to let me move forward until I take good care of it (now it's my knee ... who knows why, but I'm working on it). I'm trying hard to listen to it and what it's telling me is, "Not yet Martha. Pull back more, drop any expectations and let go a bit longer."

No Hot Chocolate 5k run for me on December 5th, something I've been looking forward to doing. No Turkey Trot 6 miler with my brother. Bummer? Yep. However, I'm able to look at the big picture and still enjoy being in a "fitness mode" without "formally" training. I'm being very dilegent with my physical thereapy and my back is making progress. The tough part of all of this is that I can't feed my competitive urge. I love to compete and push hard. The good news is that I reap energy from working with the athletes I coach. I am taking time to enjoy the simple pleasures of life, like baking a cake! Once again, I take two steps back ..... hopefully when I am able to move forward, it will be for a while. Off to indulge in another small piece of my cake!

A Different Kind of Tire Change

Lisa and I went to NJ recently to visit her parent's for four days. We did not bring bikes or swim gear as it was the start of a "down week" of training for us. Good thing because I caught a nasty cold and felt like someone had stuffed cotton in my head, gave me a sleeping pill and sent the boogerman to camp out in my nose. Just wiped out. I did pack running shoes, but have been taking some down time with that as well just to rest my knee a bit more. So, workouts were limited to walking the dogs and hitting the gym for some cross training and strength work. Totally getting into the strength workouts these days! We did have an adventure on some old beach cruiser bikes that were in her parent's garage. After dusting them off, raising the saddles and pumping up the tires, we were good to go for a ride! We headed out of the house and made our way onto a fairly busy road off of the highway. We had to cross over a large bridge in traffic to get to Ocean City and eventually the boardwalk (a good 3-3.5 miles from her parent's house). We must have been quite a sight on our beach bikes. We rode the boardwalk, stopped to buy some carmel candy popcorn (which fit nicely in the front basket of Lisa's bike) and rode back to her folks house. Probably only about 11 miles total. However it was a great ride on a fixed gear bike (that had no pedal cages) on a gorgeous 70 degree day! Purely recreational!

Often times when we head down to the Ocean City area, we fantasize about owning a beach home right on the shore or the bay. Personally, I like the bay. So, I asked Lisa if we could take a drive to the bay and look at some homes for fun (more fantasizing). We turned down one of the bay area streets, went to the end, took a right and checked out a few huge homes. We drove about .2mi to the end of the street and turned around. Upon turning around, we heard a thunk, thunk, thunk sound coming from the rear of the car. Could this be a flat tire? Yep, for sure. We bent over and examined it for a while. A razor looking type of object made it's way through the center of the tire and it deflated fast. Lisa had some kind of roadside assistance, but it was a gorgeous late afternoon and to be honest, neither of us had ever changed our own car tire before. We did not have on our usual tire changing attire like the woman in the picture above, but manged in workout clothes (me) and jeans (Lisa). I've always wondered if it was something that I could do. Kind of like the same feeling/question I had when I first started cycling. We decided to bag the roadside assistance and GO FOR IT in front of the 1.5-3 million dollar homes. Let me make note that no one came out to ask if we needed help. So, we rolled up our sleeves and Lisa took out the car maintenance booklet. We turned to the page that explained how to change the tire and off we went. I stood there reading each step out loud. Oh, to be a fly on the wall or a wealthy person sitting in the window of their home watching two women change a tire.

Step One: Remove the spare tire from underneath the car by putting the jack thingy into the rear hole just above the rear bumper. The jack thingy should hook into a spot just above the spare tire. This took us about 25 minutes to figure out. We, for the life of us, could NOT find the little slot that the jack thingy was suppose to hook in to. Eventually, we figured out that we were supposed to connect two jack thingies together to reach the slot.

Step Two: Lower the spare tire to the ground and release the chain from the center of the tire. This took us another 20 minutes because we could not figure out how to get the chain off of the tire. We got dirty and a little bitchy but I have to give us credit for not totally blowing up although we almost broke down and called roadside assistance. We kept our cool for the most part. We did not fight or file for divorce. So, 45 minutes into this and we still have not changed the tire yet and we were dirty.

Step 3: Raise the back of the car so the flat tire comes slightly off of the ground. A success! Up came the rear of the car and the rear tire.

Step 4: Loosen the nut bolts (piece of cake), take them off then remove the tire.

Step 5: Put on spare tire, then the nut bolts but do not tighten to max

Step 6: Lower the car back to the ground, tighten the bolts securely making sure to tighten them in an alternate manner.

That's it! We did it. Only took us about an hour and change (okay, a lot of change) to put on the spare tire on a quiet street in front of million dollar homes. We could have been one of their personal mechanics. We both felt a pretty darn good sense of accomplishment. HOWEVER, had it been on the side of a highway in sub 40 degree weather we'd be dialing road side assistance in 2 seconds flat (no pun intended)!

Could have, would have, should have.

Last night I went to the local cycling and tri club meeting at the Northampton VFW (we go all out). I went to support the club and voice a brief update regarding the triathlon team. Seemed like a good amount of folks helped themselves to the free pizza and beer (especially the beer). I walked in with a travel mug of tea (was a bit run down) and felt a bit like a geek, but that feeling didn't last long after I saw how obnoxious a few gals became after putting a few down. I actually don't think they were part of the club but were friends, acquaintances or groupies of the guest speaker, Jeremy Powers.

I have to be honest, I never heard of Jeremy. Jeremy Powers is a world class cyclocross racer who grew up here in Western, Ma. He was recently ranked 15th in the world as of October. I really enjoyed listening to him speak and talk about some of the training and racing lessons he has learned. He's young ..... real young .... like 26. He's also really funny, outgoing, level headed and good natured. I actually told him that it was refreshing to see someone at the top of a sport present himself as a good role model. He's having the time of his life, traveling and racing all over the world. He's sponsored and making money in the sport. Good guy .... I liked him.

Listening to him speak reminded me so much of myself when I was racing at the pro level. I think I started to make a name for myself around his age. I remember all of the traveling ... New Zealand, Canada, England, Russia, Switzerland, Mexico, the Caribbean and of course all over the US. I remember going to week+ long training camps at the Olympic Training Centers in Colorado Springs and San Diego. I remember how awesome it was to come back home having won some prize money and maybe some extra bonus money from sponsors. It really wasn't much, I mean I think my biggest prize earnings came from a race that I won in Switzerland. I brought home $5,000 in cash and earned a few hundred more from Oakley sunglasses and a tad bit more from my clothing sponsor.

Someone asked Jeremy what his current ranking was in the sport. I think he said he was currently 23rd. I looked up the most recent rankings I could find and that is where I found his #15 ranking last month. Ahhh, yes ... the world rankings. Your ranking can change from week to week. I think the highest world ranking I achieved in triathlon lasted a weekend in which I was 6th because I had placed well in a couple of ITU (International Triathlon Union races which were world cup events). You had to do those races to achieve any kind of world ranking. Trust me, I was in the bottom of those rankings most of the time because I hated ITU racing and did very few of them. I was eating brunch a few days before the World Championship Triathlon in New Zealand back in 1994. I remember I had some kind of nagging injury that year (can't remember what however ... have to look back at my old logs). Anyway, I was having a tough year but still managed to have a good race at one of the two World Championship qualifiers, which got me to New Zealand. Anyway, the president of the ITU came up to me at the buffet table and asked me if "I was all washed up." I was devastated and mortified that he actually asked me this. I can't even remember my response as my confidence was already a bit low. I've never liked him since he made that comment. Turned out more salt was put into my wound after having a bad fall on my bike in the race (my only crash, ever on a bike). I still have two nice scars on my left shoulder and left wrist to remember that whole trip ... a constant reminder of a tough day! Hey, I did learn that I have thick skin as my wounds healed fast and well. I moved on.

Anyway, Jeremy really is in his element right now. He's in the moment, into his cycling and having a blast. I can't say that I had a blast. I hated traveling and all the planning that went into it. Packing my bike, praying it got to the race sight in one piece, figuring out what I was going to eat and where. Wondering what kind of host family would I'd be staying with during the days leading up to the race etc. I have to admit that the one thing I did like about the travel was the fact that I would totally crash when I got on the airplane. I guess I knew it was taper time and in a way, I had no choice but to rest. Kind of like I was going on a mini vacation. However, I usually missed being home, A LOT. Most folks who were close to me could tell you that. I still love being home .... always been a homebody which is why I'm amazed that I did travel so much. I wish I was more like Jeremy during my pro days. I think if I were to do it again with my current state of mind, things would be different. I'd probably enjoy a few more parties after the races, get to know some of my competitors a bit more, take in more of the sights, stay a day longer. I bet I would have raced a lot better.....

Still, no regrets and I'm certainly having fun racing now! You can find me in the beer tent after the race (just kidding .... sort of)! Never too late I suppose! KUDOS to Jeremy. I'll be keeping an eye out for him now that my eyes have been opened a bit more to the world of cyclocross racing.

Becoming Martha Stewart

Good news! I've got my stride, form and feel back for running with NO achilles pain anymore. GOOOOOOODBYE EVIL VILLAIN (and this is putting it nicely). Completed 12 x 1 minute intervals at 10k effort yesterday and felt like a million bucks .... with the exception of my lower back and left medial knee. What is the deal with my body in the past year? I WILL NOT get old! So, now I've started long overdue physical therapy on my lower back in hopes of resolving the problem. I will admit, my back has been getting progressively worse over the past several years. Could it be my grandmother's gift to me? She had terrible back pain.

What's a gal to do that needs to move and keep busy. I am consumed by a world of coaching and activity .... and I LOVE it. Perhaps I need to step outside of the box and discover a new me (or maybe, the old me)! The person outside of the coach and athlete. After all, I used to play my guitar all of the time and sing in coffee houses during high school. I did sing in the acapella group. Music used to be a huge part of my life. Maybe I should go dust of my guitar or explore the artistic side of myself. I just need to take my mind off of my body for a while. I thought about exploring this side of myself again when I finally accepted that my triathlon season was not going to happen this past summer. Have to admit, it didn't happen. I decided to put my energy into cycling and get pummled in a few bike races. Now that was fun!

So, today I baked a pumpkin pie .... with the help of Libby's pre-made mix, two eggs, a can of evaporated milk and Stop and Shop's "ready to go" frozen pie crust. Looks pretty good in the pic, don't you agree? I've poured myself a glass of wine and am humming a tune as I research some of the local community art programs. Some options include:

Basket Making
Embroidery (I could embroider Lisa's initial's on all of her shirts)
Knitting (tried that before ... still working on the blanket I started 6 years ago which is totally uneven)
Wearable art (vests and jackets ... hmmmm, could I make one with my Dynamic Training Logo?)
Home Decor Sewing (this could be it!)
Gourd Crafting (oooooooo!)
Tatting (what is that anyway?)
Bead Weaving
The Art of Stamping
Doll Making (no way)
Slip Covers (not)
Cedar Strop Canoe Building (very cool ... can we make a bike?)
Quilting
Rug Hooking (I actually might like this)

Soooo many choices. I've got a lot of thinking to do. My mind is already distracted away from my aches and pains. Off to eat dinner and then my pumpkin pie with a decaf coffee! Feeling very Martha Stewart!